Lost Innocence- A piece of Maya!

It was the first week of July, one month since her school began and exactly five long days after her birthday. Maya was now nine years old and as beautiful and energetic as a nine year old can be. She finally woke up to the noises of all the traffic of Brindavan Street, one of the busiest roads of Chennai and it was hardly seven in the morning. Apart from the traffic, she could also hear a faint voice, of someone calling her name, "Maya, its getting late for school! Are you going to wake up now or shall I call your Dad?" and to that, Maya bolted out of the bed, not because she was afraid of her father, but because if she didn't wake up now, her father will come into the room, switch the fan off and tell her that she wasn't going to get her quota of the day (it was a deal between her father and her that everyday she wakes up early, she'd get a rupee to spend and sometimes even more) and of all the days, today, she didn't want to miss out on her extra savings. So she finally got out of her bed and happened to glance at the dress she had kept aside to wear to school today.

She was happy all of a sudden because it was the third friday of the month and it meant she can wear colour dress to the school, not just any dress but her birthday dress which she could not wear to school since it was on a Sunday that year. It was a pretty frilled pink frock and she loved it. She said to herself "Today, I'm going to look the best in my pretty dress and everyone will love the dress, so I better get ready soon." Her friends from School, Dimple and Rakesh always came home every morning to walk with her to School. Her Dad allowed her to go to School without adult company now not only because he trusted her, but also because the entire neighbourhood knew Maya and her two friends. He'd come to know if anything happened to any of them within minutes and moreover the school was just a 10 minute walk from their house.

After her excitement over the dress, she ran to the bathroom to brush her teeth. With her brush and paste in hand she was standing in her balcony and gazing at the teashop as she always does every morning. She saw the crowd there. Everyone ordering their teas, coffees, buns and wadas. She recognized most of the people there, some were her neighbours down the road and some were people who stayed accross the road. There was one boy who stayed in the opposite flat from her house who always used to look at her and laugh from his balcony, making her feel uneasy. She liked the boy but he made her feel uneasy, so she always remembered refusing to play with him or his brother. Now she was looking at the house and saw him there, almost ready to go to his school. She thought to herself "Someday when I grow up, I'm going to hit you if you even look at me, you arrogant mongrel, ufff" and with that note she rushed to have her bath. Ten long minutes and she was nearly ready to come out when she heard absolutely no noise, no traffic commotion. She came out and she looked out of the terrace, and she could see more unknown faces in the teashop. She looked at the boy in the opposite house, he was still there looking out just like her and she smiled. At least this, they had in common, maybe he's not bad after all. She's been living with her parents in this tiny one bedroom house for nearly two years now, and because of her childishness, innocence and frendliness, she'd made many friends in the nieghbourhood, she knew everyone in the grocery store, the bike shop below her house, the barber shop and even the teashop opposite her house. Everyone knew her and loved her and now, looking there to say hi to her older friends in the teashop like she usually does every morning, she began to worry because Anand anna seemed to be scared and sweating. She could see it on his face even from this distance. Then there were even more people gathering. Now her heart was beating faster but she didn't know why. She didn't like the silence. She glanced at her right and she saw people looking out from the neighbouring buildings and she was wondering what she was missing. She could see the traffic at a stand-still. So she ran to the neighbouring empty terrace which lets her have a closer look down the road where there was a vast rubbish disposal area. There were people gathering on both sides of the road and she could now hear her mom calling her name. She knew her father was busy listening to his morning news with his head phones on and that her mother was busy in the kitchen preparing breakfast for them and also packing their lunches. She was afraid now, afraid to ruin the silence, afraid to call her mom. All she knew was something bad was going to happen. Her palms began to sweat and get cold, but she didn't know why. Then she suddenly saw a big burly man in a dhoti, exposing his long striped underwear and burly knees, she looked to see his face and she knew him from all the posters they usually hung during festivals but she didn't know why he was important enough. She had never seen him in person and that too carrying a big Aruval (an extended sickle) which she had obviously seen in many of the tamil movies which usually was carried by the villains. She didn't like the feeling. Something in her asked to go inside the house and by now she knew that she should have known better not to stand there.

She looked at the boy opposite and he was showing signs asking her to go inside her house. He was 14 years old and maybe he knew better than her and that was why he was warning her to go away but she was nine years old and she thought to herself "who is he to ask me to go?". She hadn't even finished her thought when she saw the guy from the opposite little side lane running towards the garbage disposal area, to her right below from where she standing and she could hear the wail. She thought she was going deaf. She knew the guy who was running, she knew him well, he was her auto anna, Raja. He looked like he was running for his life and he was, with the poster guy right behind him. He was begging for his life but then it was just a swift moment and there was a lot of blood, lots of blood everywhere. She saw the Poster Guy taking the sickle off the neck of her auto anna and just another swift movement and another wail, she could see his leg flying.

She knew she was crying. She suddenly felt movement behind her, she felt herself being carried and taken inside the house, with a hand closing her mouth, a soft whisper asking her not to make any noise and and dropped on her mom who was trying to comfort her. She was in shock. She felt salty tears down her cheek. All she could mumble was "Raja Anna". She closed her eyes but she didn't know for how long she was like that in her mother's arms and her dad beside her. She could hear the police sirens and all the commotion now. She could hear the buses moving and people yelling, then the arrival of an ambulance. Even at her age she knew from watching all those tamil movies with her neighbours that Raja Anna was dead, he can't be alive with all that blood around him. Thinking of blood made her sick. She felt faint and now she could feel her mothers tears falling on her cheeks and also hear her accusing her father now for bringing them to live in that unsafe area. They did not belong in this neighbourhood. She had always known it and so did her mother that they were living there temporarily, till their housing was being built in Ashok Nagar. She didn't understand why her mother was making a big issue out of it now and then again the blood came back to her and she began to whimper. Her mother was silent now and hugging her, praying to all her favourite Gods, praying that her daughter would forget this day ever happened. Maya finally fell asleep. Her father carried her to the bed, her mother began undressing her, folding her clothes back and arranged it back on the shelf where her daughter had placed it the night before.

Maya stirred in her bed. Her mother came beside her and asked her softly if she wanted to eat anything, feeling her forehead. It was mildly hot which worried her mother. Maya could hear voices in the distance. Her mother let her sleep some more. When she finally woke it was after 2.00 p.m, which meant she did not get to go to School. She got out of her bed and walked to the kitchen to see her mother mixing her rice with ghee, and dhall and along with hot fried potato slices. She smiled at her mom. She felt her eyes burning and she remembered the tears, the sickle, all the blood and she ran to the smaller balcony to look out. She saw the tea shop, it was as normal as it could be at that time of the day. She saw Anand anna talking animatedly to his customers and felt relieved. Maybe it was all her imagination. Her mother saw the smile on Maya's face and told her that she was having fever and so her father did not want her to go to school today. Her mother told her she could wear the birthday dress the next third friday to School. She knew she should have been happy to hear that but she wasn't. She was feeling exhausted. She continued looking at all the shops and she observed there were no strange people now and everything seemed normal. She wasn't sure if she should ask her mother if anything happened in the morning but she did however ask if Dimple and Rakesh came home. She saw the hesitation on her mother's face but she told Maya that her father informed their parents that Maya was unwell and unable to walk to school. Maya believed her mother since there was no reason not to. She asked her mother if she could walk to the terrace and again her mother hesitated but agreed, warning her that she was not well and that she should rest.

So, Maya went to gaze from her terrace. There was no blood anywhere. People were walking around everywhere carrying on with their normal doings on a Friday, she could see a man laying on his cot outside the housing colony, having his afternoon nap. She could see those little kids playing on the side almost near the garbage disposal. She looked again, absolutely no blood. Maybe she told herself, it was the many Tamil Movies she had been watching recently. She walked back inside the house and her mother began feeding her. She switched on the television and there was Tom and Jerry and realised it was 3.00 pm already. She missed being at school, showing off her new dress to her best friends but then she said there'll be a next time. She told her mother not to encourage her to watch anymore violent movies because she thought she had a bad dream in the morning. Her mother told she would and gave her a knowing smile. She drank a glass of warm water after all the food and was tired and exhausted. She wanted to go back to sleep and so she did. She saw the man in the poster and the sickle and woke up crying. Her mother was lying next to her, comforting her that it was just a dream.

Maya was true to her name, an illusion. She was magic. She touched everyone's lives with her kindness and laughter. That was her secret to knowing everyone in the whole colony and the busiest street in Chennai. But that day something changed in her. She had never been afraid of anything until that day. She told herself it was all a dream but the nightmare just wouldn't go. That evening her father came back from work as usual, with few of her favourite story books and puzzle books. He asked her how she was feeling and she said she was better and asked him what happened in the morning? He told her that nothing happened except that she was sick and he didn't want to wake her up. She had her doubts but she believed him. She told herself that once she's better she'll walk to Raja anna's house and see for herself how he and his baby are doing. She said "Tomorrow, I'll be better and I'll walk around"

Saturday morning came, Maya woke up but she was not excited because it was a holiday. Her father worked half a day every Saturday, so she knew she'll be bored till he was back from work. She told herself she'll go out and play. She still had the memories from her nightmare. Her mother told her then that they were going to move out of the house pretty soon and she should start discarding things that she did not want to take to the new house. That was bad news because it meant leaving all the known faces, all her friends and pals, all the anna's and everyone else she knew. She did not know what to do. She asked her mother if she could go visit Raja anna's house. Her mother was angry at her for mentioning the name and asked her to be a good girl and stay at home and do some work. Maya was furious. She told herself she'll wait till her father was around and she'll have her way then.

Maya was in the balcony looking out to see her father walk up and she asked him if she could go and play? He said yes. Maya jumped and hugged him. She had missed him all day. Even though she thought it was all a bad dream, she just pictured what if it had happened to her father and hugged him even more tightly, not letting go. Her father understood her the most and the best. He hugged her back and called her "precious". She chose this moment to ask him if she could to Raja anna's house. Her father hesitated but just for a moment and told her that Raja anna wasn't at home since he left for Dubai yesterday morning. Maya couldn't believe it but atleast the thought if him being safe in Dubai made her feel better and she went back inside the house with her father. She was tired again. She did not anyways have the energy to play now. She watched the cartoons for sometime and told herself to get better.

A week later, after going to school for just the last two days, Maya was still having the same nightmares. Her father decided to take her to a Psychiatrist, but then, they were busy packing their things and trying to move to their new house. So her visit to the doctor was postponed. Maya was busy looking out of the balcony and saw the boy opposite and for the first time they both smiled at each other. She wondered why but felt that something had changed, he was not laughing at her anymore, simply smiling. It felt nice, but she went back inside. She continued to look outside through the grilled window from the living room and now saw the strangest thing ever, which she saw only in the movies, and sometimes old ladies like that who lost their husbands. She saw Raja Anna's wife, with her baby, trying to feed him rice, wearing a white saree, she saw even from this distance that she was not having any flowers on her hair and the plain forehead. She had seen enough movies to understand the significance of all that. She knew then that her nightmare wasn't a nightmare at all, it was reality.

She thought she was going crazy but she wasn't. All along she was right, everything came back to her. She saw the blood again. She saw everything in a flash and that was the loss of her innocence. She cried uncontrollably. Her father simply held her and whispered "I'm Sorry". She just replied "I don't want to be a Doctor Papa!"

Mitr/My friend- Strange is the kind of friendship!

Is it really possible to be friends with someone whom you haven't actually met in person????Really???

When I was a kid, my parents used to encourage me to have pen friends. Friends whom you make, just communicating through letters and mails????? Yes! I used to think it was absurd. One of my uncles used to have a pen friend - he was in Sri Lanka and she was in India. They eventually met, but I was too young to understand the significance of it all.

As pen friends, we communicate our interests through our handwritten letters, interact by replying to each other's mails, if the other person loves to collect stamps or I loved to collect coins, then we both could exchange stamps and coins. I had many interests such as collecting stamps, coins and currencies, feathers of all kinds, stickers and what not. I had piled up loadsa junk and to this day, my mom would complain to me about all the junk I have accumulated in our little Chennai home. Wait till she sees the junk in Glasgow! Well, coming back to the topic, I had many interests and I always wished I had a pen friend or at least had the courage to make one! I convinced myself that it is not necessary or absolutely essential to have a pen friend to be happy, and that that way I don't have to part with any of my collection (I was very possessive about my junk those days!) and so I did not have a pen friend.

From pen friends, there came a time when there were chat friends. With pen friends, you atleast have an address and you could somehow make sure that the person really exists and that no one's playing the fool with the other. But chat friends??? Really??? No way! I have not been sure of the internet or on line friends right from the start. How can you be really sure the person actually is genuine?? There's no means to find that if you're friends with someone from a chat room. But nevertheless, I thought I should give it a try and I did. So first, I created an email address. Then like my other friends, I tried to go into a chat room that said, for friends. I freaked out! There were many perverts. People sent me random requests asking for asl???? What the hell was ASL??? Well, I learnt from a friend (Siva) it was Age, Sex and Location? So preferably for someone to carry on the conversation, you had to be above 17 (legally 18) and a female, the location didn't actually matter. I was spooked cos I wasn't 18. Jeez, I wasn't even 17 but there I was, sitting with my friend Shiva, in an internet cafe, trying to lie about my age. I was scared. Yet it didn't stop me then. I lied I was 18! but when guys sent me random dirty friend requests, I felt I had enough! That was the end of my chat sessions (well, it was my one and only random chat room experience). I did visit internet cafe's but never alone. It was spooky, it was as if , someone, could just jump at you from no where, or throw you out with "hey girl, you don't look 18!" So eventually my visits to the internet cafe stopped because I wasn't brave enough to go alone, or even attempt to chat with strangers. How else am I supposed to make new friends?

Well, I waited till I was 18. After my 12th, when I joined Diploma in IT, we bought my first and only ever Desktop computer. I loved it. I was 18! So yes, I did go on line often and only once did I to the chat room on MSN and Yahoo. I found a friend (ofcourse it was a guy, no girl wanted to add me or be friends with me and I was no exception). His name was Sujay Shah. He was my first and only complete stranger for a friend. He was the only sane person who didn't scare me off. To this day, we keep in touch and he's one of the persons' who I still haven't met. And its been nearly ten years now since I added him as my friend. He's been a constant support through out, like how it is in Mitr/My Friend (One of the best movies ever!).

Sometimes, talking to a stranger gives a new perspective to life. Over time, you tend to think less about yourself, and become obsessed about caring for your spouse or child more than anything else. Your spouse in the meanwhile does what he has always been doing, providing financial and moral support, your child eventually grows up and what do you have left? Nothing but a boring life, yearning for yourself to be young again, with regrets that you never did what you could have done when you had the time....you learn that you have been drifting apart from yourself, losing out on all your interests. Yes, That was what the movie taught me: to not lose in touch with yourself and your interests and I wish my mother had understood this earlier. I partly feel responsible that she doesn't have a life of her own. She has always had to depend on my father and me. If not for us, she would have become a great artist and I tell her today too that its still not too late.

It was another phase of life for me after I was friends with Sujay. I was confident that not all strangers were bad guys and that there were some decent guys still around but well, I didn't bother to find them anyways. Through my best best best best friend Arunn, I found another friend for life: Karthik Narayanan (A.k.a. PRK). He does look like the race car driver too. Well, until today we have actually never met. We have spoken on the phone many times, but mostly it was always online chatting! I was more comfortable with him because he was also my best friend's buddy, so I know he was a genuine person and there's been no stopping us. Its been nice talking to him all these years. Our mutual interests I should say are Calvin and Hobbes, visiting places, making friends and chatting and oh Blogging! He reads a lot and So do I. So the things we talk about a lot are mostly about books and movies and ofcourse about Arunn! I know him to be a very caring friend to me, a loving son to his parents, a good brother to his bro. He had invited me for his brother's wedding, unfortunately I couldn't make it and so that was another opportunity lost for a meeting. He has always been there, when I'm tired after work and in need of some conversation, he'll be the one to ping me! He calls me the 'Wise Girl' these days... :) Thanks for being a part of my life! You do know how to cheer me up and hey, any girl reading this blog, he's an eligible bachelor! I know you'd murder me for writing this about you.

As I mentioned earlier, Mitr-My friend, is one of my favourite movies and it has taught me many a lessons, given me many good memories to cherish. For one thing, I don't want to end up losing myself completely for my spouse/kids because things change in life and the only person constant in my own life is going to be me. My Mom loves the movie too but she just didn't want to change her way of life though. Here is the song that touched my soul from the movie:

Give me hugs (Mitr My Friend)

Give me hugs
Give me smiles
Give me love
All the time
Give me strength
When its rough
On this road of life and love

Life does get to me
When I am feeling weak
I found in you a miracle cure
For every hurt that I ever feel
Heavens sent you down just for me
An angel that I only can see
In others eyes you will just seem
An ordinary friend who will
Give me hugs
Give me smiles
...

Give me wings
When I am down
To fly away to the sun

I wish I can be what you mean to me
A friend you need in any moment
Loneliness won't set you free

I always feel you in my breath
See you a special gift to me
In others eyes you will just seem
An ordinary friend who will
Give me hugs
Give me smiles
...

May be I will find you in my mother
Or the guy who keeps on sending me those flowers
Valentine's just around the corner
May that's the day we'll find each other

But I know that it is you
Where to find the friend who will
Give me hugs
Give me smiles
...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6oockdGHPJ8

A song from the Indian movie in English: 'Mitr, My friend'

Blue Eyed Toddler!

She's a regular at the place I work, in fact, she's one of my favourite customer's baby girl. I couldn't help writing this for her! She's one of the very few little Scottish friends I have made and the very youngest! She does get excited to see me whenever she comes round to my corner! So here it goes!

Those tiny lil fingers, fits so perfect around mine,

those bright blue eyes, look earnestly at me,

Oh, You are a wee heart breaker!

You gurgle with understanding

and your tiny feet go up in triumph,

you sure do know what you're capable of!

To top it all, your smile says it all,

and oh, how I wish you were but mine,

my wee little pal!!!

The ties that bind ;) .....

Being an only child, however good or blessed it is, it is also very difficult. Being Mr.Suryakumar, the prodigy's (I've heard from my uncles and elder cousins that my dad was a prodigy) only child is even more difficult, not because my dad made it difficult for me, but the others around us. Every other person, who knows expects a lot of achievement from me just because I am Suryan's (that's how my dad is addressed to by others) daughter. He's a genius and I'm not. He's drowned in Physics and Maths and I'm not! And so, I always wished I had an older brother who could take all the brunt of it. Well...that was just a wish because God just wasn't kind enough to have given me an older brother but I didn't let that get to me. As I grew up, along the way I was blessed with brothers, some were related and some not the least related, some older and some younger, some handsome and some not so handsome, but nevertheless brothers who actually pampered me.

~ He who understands you is greater kin to you than your own brother. For even your own kindred neither understand you nor know your true worth. ~

"Sometimes being a brother is even better than being a superhero-- Marc Brown"

I thought I owed this blog to my adopted brothers. I have a great many cousins and it goes without saying that they were my good great brothers. I'm not going to brag about them in this blog for everyone knows they are great (Vidyasager Karunakaran, Dinesh Karunakaran, Prabath Karunakaran, Vinod Karunakaran, Aroon Dharmapalan Sajeev, Anil Kumar, Sunil Kumar, Pramil Premkumar,Vishnu, Prageesh, Praveeth, Darshan, Vishaan, Sumi and Vimi....etc.) and I love every single one of them. It is easy to love me as a sister if you are related to me or even out of obligation, you simply have to put up with me. But it doesn't go the same way if we are simply not related and that is greater .... that is the ties that bind us forever.

Down the road, I have made many such brothers, who have pampered and spoilt me. I am going to mention them in the order I met them. So, going back to school, where I made my first one, even though we never met in school. My parents when they lived in Nigeria, they had a lot of good friends who also moved to India like them eventually. One such friend of my mum's was Swarup Aunty. She visited us when I was in school (SBSM) and thats how I met her son Siddharth Cherian. He was born a year or so before me and my mom adored him and so did I. He was my wish for an older brother come true but it didn't last very long since we moved houses and they moved places and we lost touch. I wish I could find him again somehow and I still have memories of him stored away.

After that, it was a distant cousin's/ family friend's wedding reception (Surendran's reception) and I accompanied one of my cousin Dinesh and his wife. I met my other cousins Dhanya and Dina there and they introduced me to this guy- Nikhil. We hit it off immediately. He became my first bro and to this date he still is ;). This was in my tenth standard. After I moved to GRT, I met Ashwin (a.k.a.Venkatraman), always the witty one. He's now in the US but somehow still manages to keep in touch now and then. He was my brother because he helped me a lot, with his great advices and he was a great fan of my graffiti (you know brothers are for encouraging us ??? Yup, he did that really well...encouraging me and constantly supporting me at school and with everything that I did in my life, he never gave up on me. Then came along SRM. Life at SRM was made fun not only because of my friends but because of my so called bros. Well, first came Bachchu (Bharatram) since he was the first I met, my classmate and also a naughty one when he was with SMS Karthik which was all the time. He was so damn tall. Will get to other bits about him when I get to how I met Eshu!

Then I met Ashok, from the VISCOM dept. He was tall, dark, not so handsome but damn cute. He was the mischievous one. The one thing I'd never forget about him is his grin/ smile whatever you call it. He made French classes fun for me and everyone. One helluva photographer and he has such a big heart that he just lets people take advantage of him. He keeps in touch with me even now when he needs any sisterly advice or gets himself into any shit. We talk about everything and I'm happy I know he's one brother I'd never lose, no matter what.

Then came Girish Gopalan. I met him through a close friend of mine. He was a cute plump guy ;) and I know he's going to give me a piece of his mind when he reads this. I was kinda of a family to him and his parents love me and so do I love them. His mom is one woman and I adore her. We call him GG. He's successful in life and is working in Mumbai and am proud of him. He and I used to talk all the time on the phone, gossip about everyone and am happy that we still do. All my birthdays since I joined SRM have been blessed with all the cuddly toys he'd gifted me and the last one was a big fat black and white Panda, which I still adore. He spoilt and pampered me ;) . Even though he was my senior, he was never like one. He was the first older brother I made.

One of my best best friends Shweta decides to fall in love and booooom... the guy happens to be none other than Eshwar (a.k.a Dracula). Since he loved her very much he decided I guess the rest of Shwe's girl friends were naturally like his sisters. So there was, our (Mine and Anna's) oldest bro ;). My only regret is that down the memory lane, we somehow managed to disconnect ourselves and part of it to blame is me moving away from Chennai I guess. Now married to my best friend, he hardly has to time to keep in touch and I don't blame him, my best friend is sometimes hard work, just like me.

Third year at SRM, I met my bestest friend Sindy's friends, Paul and Vivin. Paul, ever loving, kind, crazy about his car, sound advice any time I need, always has to patience to listen to my problems, he was more of a friend but a younger bro. Never once failed to call and wish me on my birthday. And Vivin- There are some bonds that never need to be explained and this is one. He became the third oldest, smartest, handsome bro, and being a mallu, it was another advantage cos he was often mistaken for family. He, I think should have been my older brother in real life because like my father, he had big brains, and guess what, IIT background too to top it all and hence was and still is the perfect one to take the brunt of being my dad's child ;). He's a generous person, loving, caring and spoilt me a lot. I'm proud of him after what he's achieved in life. He was one solid support who saw through me getting to Glasgow and I am indebted to him forever. He visited me in Glasgow, and guess what all my friends here thought he was actually my brother and I never bothered to correct them because he was my bro, big bro! I would never forget the night when we shared a chicken wrap near Waves, Annanagar, during my last trip to India. He took me shopping, bought me clothes, pampered me... listened to all my woes, took me home safely as what all brothers do ;) and I miss him a lot.

My first year in my Master's in SRM introduced me to my senior, Mr.Pradeep Iyer. Well, he was younger than me but yeah way taller, skinny and you'd think he's all brains and that's exactly the first impression I got of him. Thanks to another person Gayatry Mohan, we became good friends and moved on to bro and sis relationship cos it just seemed apt and right. He was ridiculously insane, witty and humorous. He always had something to say. Never made fun of me. Encouraged me all the time and yes I was bound to be the victim of jealousy from other endearing souls just because he favoured me when it came to giving his books, notes and advice and guidance. I survived the M.Sc. there, thanks to him.

It was also in SRM that I met the little rowdy as I call Hari Krishnan (kutty hari), my littlest bro. Any trouble, and the rowdy he is would immediately spring into action.... he always starts...(yakkoww..eppadika irukke???)... it was always funny. He's skinny tiny but ferocious or atleast that's how he depicts himself! He's an awesome photographer, talented, creative and brainy...and almost always comes up with an awesome tagline or quote at the right time just when I need something to boost up my self morale. My final years at SRM was joyful thanks to him and his chocolates he always got me. Thanks for being there kutty.

My life in Glasgow wasn't an easy one to begin with, had its ups and downs. God just knows when exactly to drop a brother on me, to watch out for me and there he was, the one who was always around for me here, Amit. He is my best friend here, and my bro.... Don't know how I would have been without him. Never takes NO for an answer, forces food down my throat, stuffs me with his cooking, and advice too. Being the season for Rakshabandhan, I thought I'd honour all my brothers for being the best you have been to me and for all your support down the line. Life sure was made easier for me and thanks to you all.

To this day, I don't regret having a brother of my own when I have plenty around me, to look out for me, spoil me, take care of me, make fun of me, irritate and most of all annoy me. They have seen me at my worst and at my best. People come and go, but the ones who are meant to stay will stay no matter what the ups or downs are and I am proud to say that I have seen them come and stay but very few who left.

"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." — Marilyn Monroe!!!!

More later!!!

What will 'THEY' think?????- Judgemental People!

Growing up, I came across various people in my life who were judgemental of me, and the story goes a long way back!

As a little girl, my mom used to tell me not to do this or that, but she most times never would tell me why she wanted me to or not to do some things. I can only describe my state in one word- baffled. Later on, after me pestering her a lot, she began telling me- "What will THEY think?" and I go- "WHAT will WHO think?" and then she goes- PEOPLE! My mother wanted to bring me up the way everyone would like me to be and it was my Dad who was a bit supportive.

"Don't talk that way, talk softly, don't cross your legs, Don't go on the bike with any guy, Don't talk for long on the phone, Don't leave your hair lose, plait your hair, No cycles, Don't get too close to that girl/boy,Don't wear Jeans! and what not?!!!" Though that phase is long gone, memories still remain. My Dad, the never orthodox and an atheist, always tried to reason with mom to let me do what I want.

I never understood why my mom was so bothered as to what the society, her family, her friends or for that matter, what our very neighbour thought of me or what I did. She did not want anyone to think bad of her daughter in any way. While everyone's daughters went for movies with friends even at school, I was barred from it. What did that lead to? - Me bunking college and going for movie. She used to decide what kind of clothes I get to wear too. Nevertheless, I loved them, because she somehow had good taste. Initially, mom and I used to fight about it, but then I got used to it just because she chose well. Today, I get to wear anything and whatever I want, no one to judge me by the clothes I wear, yet I somehow miss her selecting my clothes.

What will people think if I went on the bike with a friend? Do they really have the time to worry about what I'm doing, going on the bike? Really? I don't think so. Well, people will talk. So do we. Because unfortunately or fortunately we are people too. If they talk, we talk back. Its as simple as that.

I have tried to please everyone as far as I can remember. I have been good to everyone the way my mom always wanted me to and I ended up becoming a good person. But at the cost of what? Well, to tell the truth, I think it wasn't much of a price I paid. I learnt from experience. There have been people who have picked on me time and again, and I let them do it. I never spoke back to them, only because I did not want to disappoint my mother.

My mom eventually understood me, she was more supportive than anyone else. She was proud of me in everyway. She finally let me do things whatever I wanted but slowly and eventually. She just didn't want me to have all the freedom right from the start. She wanted me to earn her trust and I did. Few of them who were close to me in the family were quite judgemental of me and my acquired freedom. Well, they should know better now. And thats how I tell -People always talk.....but when it comes to things happening in their own lives, they simply don't want anyone to know, they try to keep things as quiet as possible and suddenly they stop talking about others.

There were and still are few people who think that my Dad has always let me have whatever I wanted, given me too much of freedom or that he just trusts me blindly. Well, they should take a hike or just take a look at their own sons and daughters or rather their own lives. My parents have given me the right amount of independence which permitted me to make the most of my life, have all the fun I have had, make good life long friends, learnt the lessons of life and most of all, grow up with no regrets. I could have misused the independence but I did not and yet people gossiped, and God only knows what would have happened if I did.

P.S. I don't know why I wrote this post. It was a sudden memory rush. I have not mentioned any names in this post and I just did not want to hurt anyone's feelings. Shall edit it and post the full story soon.

Princess and love!

I woke up today morning after dreaming about myself being treated like a princess. How weird is that? I also remember telling my best friend Sindhana, a couple of days back that I want to be treated like a princess and maybe that was the only possible explanation for today's dream.

Growing up, I always believed in fairy tales. I had always wanted to look pretty, wear pretty clothes, and be treated like a princess. For sometime I was a princess, my Dad's little princess. But then I began to grow up. After when I was sensible enough I did however realise that fairy tales don't always come true but you could however feel like a princess if you find the right person.

To be a princess, you first need to be pretty! I am pretty. I believe I am pretty not because I think I'm pretty but because my parents say so. To every parent, their own child is the prettiest and so it is to my parents too and I also happen to believe anything they say. So when they tell me I'm pretty, I believe I'm pretty. Regarding pretty clothes, I've had good taste in clothes for as long as I can remember. Now coming to the part where I need to be treated like a princess.....its entirely not up to me is it? You need the prince charming!!!

Well, the simple secret to be treated like a princess is to accept the person who loves you and not go for the one whom you love. If you choose the guy who loves you, you will be the princess in his life cos you'll be the world to him. If you choose the one whom you love, you will also end up being the maid. Now, how true can this be?

We always end up choosing the one we love and not the one who loves us. This is so because, we want to be faithful to ourselves and not make the wrong choice and not to end up hurting the one who loves us. There is also the possibility that both persons love each other; they would undoubtedly be the perfect princess and prince charming and here I'd like to mention that I know few of my very close friends who have been lucky in their love life and some not so lucky.

You might know a person for years and yet really not know them inside out- This was the first advice given to me by my brother (Vinod Cheta). The first ever relationship advice I got and I still cherish it, Cos I believe it is cent percent true.

After the carefree life you have as a teenager, going to school, working on homework, being under parental care for all those years, stepping into adulthood is a great responsibility. Without the right guidance and counselling, hormones can get us into lots of trouble. But thanks to the almighty I had great sensible friends who were my family. Being a friend also means supporting you no matter what you choose in the end, being with you when everything goes wrong. I'm proud to say I have such friends who'd stand by me no matter what I choose or do in my life and I am also proud to say that I am such a friend to them too.

I've got a great friend in Arvind Kumar, who some people know as a Viscom teacher, my neighbour, the one who worries a lot and yet pretends not to care a damn, one who is non-commital to any kind of relationship except friendship. I used to think he was afraid of complications that come with any commitments in a relationship. But little did I share his wisdom then. He knew all along how things worked in this world. It was from him I learnt that it is always better to love the one who loves you than the one whom you love! He's one hell of a great guy and I should say he is wise for his age even though he still would look like he's hardly 25!

When you fall in love, it is always difficult to initially convince your best friends that you have made the right choice, but whether your choice was right or wrong they often stand by you even if you chose the rudest guy to be your boyfriend and in the end when things turn sour, the best friends still stand by and say - We told you so!!!! That is what best friends are for.

I am happy that my friends are settling down and I am trying to do so too but only time will tell.

More later,

Adios!

Growing Up- friendships, heartbreaks and love!!!!

'With age comes wisdom'!!!

I do not agree with that statement! I 'd rather say 'With experience comes wisdom! You can be 50 years old and still not be wise, you might not be blessed with the maturity adept for a 50 year old and this same logic applies to a girl/ woman/ simply a person who is turning 27 years old on the 31st of July!

27 years of my life! I don't remember what I have achieved or done in the last 27 years that is worth mentioning as an accomplishment. Well, to begin with, I have studied a lot, a Diploma in IT, a B.Sc in Microbiology, and TWO M.SCs and after that what? Nothing! That is all that I have till date to tell the world of what I have done in the last few years. Some may feel its a lot of studies and some may feel its alright, for me, its 7 years of experience, education and friendship time!!!

It is these years in school and college that I met my soulmates, best best best friends, best friends and many many friends and that is why I love all those years of education, education of LIFE.

My LIFE began with my first steps into an actual school, in kerala, St.Josephs (still known as Kapalpalli since it is shaped like a ship and has a church inside it). This was during the pre-school/ Kindergarden- times (LKG and UKG) and thats where I made my first friend - Aleena. I still remember her name and during my last visit to India, I came to know that she was married and lived in chennai, from her Gran who lives across our ancestral home in Kerala. She's the only person I can remember from those two years of my life.

Following that, we moved to Chennai, where my LIFE actually began! Yes, I was moulded and brought to form in the wonderful school, Shri B.S.Mootha and I am proud of that school to this day. I still remember the first day I stepped into that school to take an entrance exam, where I met Shalini Ravi, who was taking the test with me. She was asked to write numbers till 60 or so and I was asked to write alphabets, and after I finished my alphabets, I simply began to write the numbers till 60. I remembered that part so vividly because I was admonished by my favourite teacher to this day, Mrs.G.Vijayalakshmi and advised to not copy again but nevertheless she was impressed that I knew my numbers. There began my tale. Shalini became my FIRST best friend and there was no looking back. We lived close by and used to play and study together and go to eachothers houses. I remember our birthday parties and gifts. I remember her family, her mom's cooking (her Bombay chutney was awesome), her dad being a doctor and her little pretty sister Vaishnavi. We grew up like that for five years or so and then suddenly she left for Coimbatore with her family, where her Dad had to have his practice. When she left she took a part of me. I still remember crying all those days and hating to go to school, or hating to make new friends. I couldn't trust anyone else for a long time for the fear that they too will one day abandon me. So there was this phase in my life when I had friends, but not best best friends, and they happened to be Majisha, Aarthe, B.Kavitha, Purnema, Kiran and so on. I remember the one and only tour I ever got to go in that school to Banglore. It was fun and memorable. Eventually Aarthe and I started spending a lot of time together, studying, playing, gossiping and I began to feel that I finally found a best friend again. It worked and somehow 10 years in that school flew by with no regrets but complete fun. Fate took a turn when both I and Aarthe left that school to join GRT. I hated that school for everything and this is just my personal experience. For others the school brought joy but it brought me tears and experiences called Life. It also however gifted me with few special friends Arunn, Sindhana, Koushik, Ashwin and Annapoorni, most of whom are till this date my best best friends!

It was here in this school, I met KK. Everyone remembers their first crush, first love and first failure too. It was in this school that I actually got to meet the other gender of the human species and hormones began to work I guess, because it was then that I had my first crush on the Golden eyed boy who happened to come to school with my best friend Sindhana. KK and I became good friends, but God I had huge crush on him but of course he didn't know that. I remember the fun times, especially when Kavita tried to get a pic of us together when we went on a tour to Banglore. I also remember how we tried to celebrate Sindy's birthday on the tour. I wouldn't say it was the best tour, but yeah it had its moments.

Disaster struck on the new year's eve 2000, when I had the small accident and hurt my back. Stayed at home for weeks in recovery and exams were fast approaching. Couldn't go to any classes or tuitions. Thanks to KK, who came to tutor me, I could learn what I did with the exception of Maths. February 14th came and with it followed our farewell party. Few days before or so, I remember, KK and I started liking eachother. We'd all remember the short story by O'Henry- After Twenty Years, and yes, KK made a plan of 'After 7 Years'. I remember the time when he took me to get henna tattoo on my hands, all the gifts that he'd given me. Our farewell party went well. All girls looked gorgeous in bright and lovely sarees and the boys tried their best to look their best. KK dropped me back home that evening. Those were moments I'd cherish. Well, first crush and first love apart, exams lurked in the corner. Blame it on my overconfidence or laziness, I eventually failed in the only 12th std exam in Maths that too, when everyone expects to pass with flying colours. The damage was already done and it was too late to blame it on the teachers, the school or me for that matter. A little extra effort could have saved me from all that trouble, shame, disappointments and my first failure.

After that first lesson of failure, I learnt never to take anything or anyone for granted. My dad and few of my close friends were very supportive. I now feel that, my first love did not work cos I blamed my first failure on the first love or rather the first ever distraction I had. I was bad. I blamed it all on the relationship and it wasn't fair to him what I did. I somehow pulled through that failure phase, got myself together, did not waste any more time and finished my Diploma and then joined SRM Arts and Science College. It was in this first year at SRM that I felt I could not maintain a long distance relationship with KK (who got his engineerin admission in Tanjore). We had the long distance calls which eventually proved to be expensive and eventually exhausting to me and it simply ended.

SRM blessed me with my best best friends Shweta and Anna , and to complete the gang there was, Sharanya, Rohini, Gayatri, Bharath and SMS. It was the most fun time I ever had in a long long time. The first year flew by quickly but it was the most fun. After a long time, I learnt to have fun again. I grew up then. I say I grew up then, not because I learnt how to have fun, but also learnt when to stop. I studied well, made sure never failed again. I worked hard, but I also bunked classes, went out with friends and had the time of my life. I remember our canteen times, how we used to occupy one big table and sat around it. I remember how Shweta fell in Love with the man of her dreams -Eshwar or rather the guy we call Dracula whom she eventually married; how Anna had her crushes and moments, how Chuckky got her proposals and how Gini and I tried to simply have fun. Then there was Valya too, the neutral person in the whole gang, because we never knew her really really well. I remember our first class bunking and the first movie we went to together as a Gang- RUN...and the Priya priya experience. Phew! We first went to Qwickys and took that first pic together and after that there was no stopping us.

I have come a long way from that little girl who always needed her daddy around, to the person I am today, living far from family and friends but of course close to the person I love (About him and the lessons he has taught me, I need a whole new Post!!!!)

From my friends and close ones, I learnt about fun, loyalty, relationships, friendship, togetherness, sharing, caring, supporting each other, covering up for each other, taking chances, love, responsibility and mainly about LIFE!!!! I'm happy my best friends are still my best friends. I learnt that people come and go in your life and it is up to us to make them stay and hence to this day, my first best friend Shalini is still a part of my life, she's still in touch with me and what more can I ask for?

So the last 27 years of my life has seen its ups and downs and I have made a list of things to do before I die because I have realised that Life is short and I need to make the most of it while I can. I know I have become a woman, because I have begun to shop like one, So here I am, hoping to eventually become wiser, someday.

How I met Arunn!!!

From the title of this post....you'd all figure out am a hardcore fan of "How I met your Mother"...well…..that’s not entirely true... It’s just that this title is the most apt way I could tell this story, although, I do love the series!!!

What can I say about a guy who walks into your life, changes your life completely, adds spice-joy-laughter-comfort-happiness, provides constant support, encouragement and stands by you during your best and worst times…all the while expecting nothing in return????Well….that was and is Arunn to me….and am absolutely lost!! I just don’t know what to call him….because he’s more than my best friend to met…you could say more like a soul mate….!!!

Here goes the story…..

After 5 years of studying in a girl’s school (till year 10 at SBSM) …completely at ease amidst girls…I was put in a mixed school for year 11 and 12!!! Now here, I should mention a few of my close friends…. Aarthe and I chose this particular school after great consideration….and she was my best friend then….and like all best friends do…we joined the school together…we went to school together…..studied together….ate together…and the likes…..and then to complete the trio…there was Miss.Sindhana aka Sindy ;). Mind you all….this is my side of the story….and hence, doesn’t mean that Aarthe and Sindy didn’t have other friends …..infact they had more friends than I could ever imagine.. ;) And it was all hunky dory in the beginning….Cos the hard part was…I hated maths…and computers…so I had to take Biology but it also happened to have maths…. So I wasn’t with Aarthe or Sindy in their class…. I was in a different section as you call it….but with occasional combined classes for Maths, Phy and Chem…and we were coupled with the Commerce group for our English lessons and again we all had common class for language…and I happened to choose French along with Sindy, Aarthe and now comes the best part…Arunn!!

First lesson I learnt after I met him…. NEVER JUDGE A PERSON BY HIS LOOKS!!!!

I am not ashamed to admit that my first impression of Arunn wasn’t too good!!! He seemed like a geek (A derogatory reference to a person obsessed with intellectual pursuits for their own sake, who is also deficient in most other human attributes so as to impair the person's smooth operation within society- hence I refer him to be an intellectual geek and nothing else!!!) or rather a nerd…you know like…Leonard Hofstadter from “The Big Bang Theory”!!!

First day at school, my classmates and I were made to join the commerce group for our English class. Things are a bit vague now though, after all these years. In that class, not everyone was a new student, some of them have been in that school for a long time, and they were well familiar with the teachers and other peers, whereas I was lost. The only two girls I knew and longed to hang out with were in an entirely different class. So here I was, lost and lonely, sitting among strangers, feeling unwelcome but that was just the first day! Turning back I wouldn’t want to change a single thing about those days. I am still in touch with all those fresh faces or initial strangers. Alright, let me not digress again. Back to the first day, first English class. The teacher, if I remember well, was Mrs.Kanchana, she was good. Any questions from her, the first answers will be from this nerd, followed by another girl (Aashika). I sensed some sort of competition and my first impression of Arunn then was justified because all he could do was talk about studies, homework, answers and questions…blah blah blah… but then things took a turn sometime later…when I learnt of Arunn’s sense of humour and compassion. We began to talk about books. We shared a common interest in books, movies, music etc... I was impressed by his English and French. He was fun to be with and to have intellectual conversations if you could call it that. And then…he became my friend. Here I do have to mention my first love/crush at school and I don’t want to state names here just in case it offends anyone…let me just call him KK ;).

During french class, KK almost always sat next to Arunn. KK and I became good friends and then Arunn and I started talking more cos of KK. Thanks to KK, I still have a bestfriend in Arunn. It was a memorable two years in that school…and it was towards the end of school that I really got to know Arunn well. Our long idle phone conversations, Oh…..How I miss them…He stood by me during my worst days …. He was one person who has been constant in my life….without him I don’t know what I would have become today. When people tell me that a guy and a girl can’t be JUST FRIENDS, I’d feel like laughing at them and tell them…. look at me and Arunn…!! He’s been there when I first fell in love, got hurt, had a break up, when I failed in school (the one and only time I ever failed in a subject/class and it had to be my 12^th…duh!!! The most embarrassing episode in my life…no matter how much I try to forget it just stares me in the eye!!!), when I joined my colleges, won prizes, my birthdays-all the memorable ones ;), when I fell in love again, all the tears and happiness, best and worst, and every important moment in my life…!!!he’s one person I can’t do without…He’s the reason I got here….he went to all the trouble to get me to Glasgow and chase my dream!!! I should say he had good taste in books and he took great time and care in choosing all the gifts he’d given me. In short, he’s the one guy who’s known me in and out and has still stuck by me.!! He used to come home for every b'day of mine. He was one guy who hit it off with my mom instantly....He helped my mom when I left for Glasgow...and I knew then that thats what best buds are there for....and I also know that I would have done the same for him....

I can go on bragging about him...about how charming he is, how he can make you feel special and talented and how he also passed his CA in his very first attempt....and how he takes pride while talking about his family, especially his dad and little bro (though he's no longer little....he's a marine engineer)..and how he treats me like a kid...(though I'm almost 27 now :()....He's something....!!! If there was one good thing I got from that school it was his friendship....and am proud of him and am proud to be a part of his life for over 10years now...

“They say: the best things in life can’t be touched, guess that’s why some people are not around now!” and it stands true ….. because Arunn, is in Dubai now and am in Glasgow!!! No matter what…I wish him the very best in life because he only deserves nothing but the best!!!

My last visit to India wasn’t the same without Arunn to greet me…he was the one essence missing in the whole trip. Miss you Arunn!!

My Mom...Journey of motherhood!!

For a person with absolutely miserable memory, it is mental torture to keep remembering things...having dreams and visions about few very fond memories and hoping against hopes that these bits and pieces of memories don't get lost with time or rather wondering often what if I forget this or that???? Thats exactly what prompted to write...or rather jot down my memories....

And I feel its high time I gave my mom her due share of credits....but to tell you the truth it wasn't always a joyride for us... It was the usual mom-daughter fights.... She picks one dress, I like the other, She picks another...I pick another...it'd take us two hours for us to finally decide on one that I'm comfortable with and my mom in love with....

Oh My..How she loved having me as a baby.... She never could stop taking pictures of me...Maybe thats one reason why I'm a poser... ;) I have heard rumours that given a chance she used to bite me...when I was baby...well you ought to know who the rumour monger is...well its only my dearest Mom...

My mom isn't one of those well-educated office going type... She took no interest in her studies... I have heard from both sides (my mom and dad) that when they were in School my Dad used to do her math homework...he never had the patience to teach her how to do it but he just did it himself...now how good is that?????He was also ten years her senior by age!!! But then hey...She is one hell of a creative lady..... I am proud to say that my creativity was inherited from my mom....my awesome mom..... I can draw, sketch, paint, make handmade cards.... thanks to my mom... She always used to encourage me and she was a big fan of my paintings... Well you won't believe it...but she never used to like the idea of selling my work (paintings ;)) and yet I have sold them...just because it was to people my mom knew personally.... ;)

Have you ever heard that if one parent is the tough one then the other tends to soften up to their child...well...my mom was beyond doubt the tough one and dad was the one who always used to spoil me!!!!

Growing up, I and mom have had our share of differences, anger issues, frustrations and sometimes even at this age we still fight... but now she cares and worries about me more than fight with me...She wishes I was still close to her..there at home..for her to yell at me.... ;) How she misses me...and How I miss her!!! Its true that when you don't have it you always end up missing it the most...!!! Maintaining a long distance relationship isn't too easy...especially trying to hide my disappointments and fear...and me missing her just makes it worse...but then I still call her every other day...if I don't she panics!!!

She wasn't a mom who allowed her daughter to do whatever she wants, whenever she wants...go for movies with friends..least of all a boyfriend.. Till I moved to Glasgow I have always been afraid to go to movies with friends but yeah that didn't stop me few times....but trust me...oh the guilt....I wished I've never done that.... She didn't give me too much of freedom but just enough to maintain good friendships... yes... She knew all my friends right from school to college and she has her own favourites among them... her favourites are the ones thats lasted in my life...She has these instincts about people.... and trust me its spooky... She'd find out when I lie with just one look!!! She was way too protective about me and growing up around my mama bear wasn't that easy....Yet I have survived...experience I tell you from her though....

For person who didn't know much about the world, my mom was born and brought up in Colombo, Sri Lanka, has travelled continents after she married my Dad, settled in a strange weird place called Nigeria..where she gave birth to strange beautiful ME...and yet travelled again.... Her passport has more stamps than anyone I've known now...and finally my proud parents have settled down not in one place now but in two...yes Dad's in Andhra, and Mom's in Chennai.... but yeah they travel to and fro to be together during holidays!!

Being the youngest in her family of 6 brothers and two older sisters..my mom was obviously the spoilt one.... She's still a kid I tell you... She loves chocolates and ice creams ...those are two things she'd fight for.... maybe thats why I've always not been a fan of chocolates and ice creams... all those family gatherings , parties and weddings we've attended...mom used to rob me of my share of chocolates and icecream...well I didn't mind it then and wouldn't mind it now... One of her nightmares is to suffer from diabetes as end result of all her chocolate fantasy and I hope she's healthy always.... What would I ever do without them??? At the age of 27, I still feel lost without them...can't even imagine how my life would be without them...

Well I don't want to think about it... Its still a long way to go.... Am just 27!!!

To my mom, You're the plump cute softtoy that I've always hugged and slept growing up!!!! There is no substitute!!!! Will always love you....eventhough I'm Daddy's Lil Girl!

Down the Memory Lane!!! ;) Dedicated to Dilu and my Dad!

Dad, Mom and I travelled to many places including Egypt, Kenya, France, London and few others...but alas...I was just a baby!!!! So I've got no memories of all that except for photos and souvenirs... However, I do remember being ridiculed in my early days of schooling (LKG and UKG as it was known those days) in Kerala at St. Josephs (known as kapallpalli school in Malayalam), for not able to communicate in Malayalam...and for speaking in English fluently...I was a complete stranger, an alien among my little peers... God, coming to think of it now...it does seem bad....with no friends at all...and to remember coming back home and crying to Dad that I wouldn't go to School again!!

I used to wait for Dad to come home every evening from his work..and thats when my day really began... We ate..and he'd teach me numbers, I'd proudly take out my slate and coloured slate pencils and show him off whatever I learnt new that day....He'd teach me rhymes, alphabets, numbers....and did make sure I was good at them..I still remember him putting me to sleep with stories of beauty and the beast, cinderella, red riding hood, of wolves and foxes, hare and tortoise and so on..I never used to tire of his stories even if he had had to repeat a story more than thrice...;) cos thats how I like going to sleep.....but yeah whatever, it did not make my life easier at school... But then a miracle happened, Dad got his most awaited job as a Physics lecturer in IIT, Chennai and my life changed!!!!

Chennai...is the place I had my first happy memories.... We initially stayed as a joint family with my mum's sister's family....Thats where I met my cousin's son Dilan or Dilu how I call him...we had our first fights, first games ...you could call it sibling rivalry..even though we weren't actually siblings...He was my nephew I take it...but then again he was just a year or two younger......and to complete the gang we had Abhinav... Oh my God, How we fought for toys...Dilu's cycle and so on!!! Every other day we used to stand next to each other and compare who was growing taller...initially the person growing taller was ME!!!! And am glad that at least for that short time it was ME!!! Even though I remember our fights and tears...I still feel those days are still the most cherished days of my life.... Dilu and I still share that bond..an inseparable unspoken bond... How he has grown....he towers over me like a bamboo stick...but he's still the most charming guy ever... He was nicknamed Ummarkissan (He'll kill me if he reads this)...and why he was named so is so darn obvious if you knew him.... However.....the fun didn't last that long..just for two years if I remember correctly, cos Dilu and his mom (my cousin) had to join their family back in kerala..so we basically met once a year during our vacations either in Kerala or in Chennai...

Oh, Did I mention, I and Dilu shared the same initials and went to the same school (Shri B.S.Mootha Girls Senior Secondary School, but boys were allowed till Class 5)???? Well, I was in my third class, and Dilu in his first, and everyone at school assumed he was my little brother, the one who always sleeps in the Rickshaw!!! Now I am certain he's going to kill me when he reads this!!! I am however, very proud of Dilu, he's a handsome pilot, most annoying nephew and my first best friend!!!! We have both come a long way in life...faced many ordeals....but its all part of life...and I'd always love him.... And I can never hate him no matter how much he annoys me and makes fun of me... He was the first memory of a friend, a brother and a nephew I have!!!!

With more later,

Adieu!!

The Story of my LIFE!!!

Down the memory lane...

Its taken me a very long time to get back into writing...putting my thoughts into words..... People used to tell me I was good at it...well I don't know anymore how right or wrong they are...I created this blog just to compile all my memories, both good and bad, sweet and bitter, in short, its just a scribble of my glimpses from childhood and adulthood..my life so far...and of things I still remember and hold dear to my heart...and of course my current life ramblings and short comings!!!!! So here I am, trying to push my memory as far back as I can remember......

My parents and passport say I was born in Nigeria on the 31st of July or was it the 1st of August???in 19 errrr...year's not important now is it????, in the only sane hospital around....actually they did have to travel far...into the neighboring state..... The Mariassumpta Hospital, Ado-Ekiti, the hospital I think that still doesn't have a website ;). My mom wasn't healthy enough to take care of me during the initial days, so I was told..... I was my Daddy's girl right from the very start!!!!

My mom used to complain to me that I was always stuck to my dad... When he was away at work I'd be glum and I'd cheer up only after hearing his voice... Mom used to mix milk for me with sugar...for her baby... but well...I wasn't sooo comfy with sweet milk....whereas Dad never had the patience to add sugar to my milk..he just about managed to heat it up and put it in the bottle and feed me and I was supposedly the happiest baby in the world....Given a chance my mom still complains about that to me or to anyone who knows me and my dad... Dad always gives in to my whims and wants....he somehow always managed to give me the comfortable life he never had during his childhood....I'd say he was and is the perfect daddy...not because he showered me with comfort and provided for me...but because he always saw the lighter side of everything..and he was the best friend any dad could ever be... if he hurts or teases me with words...I still remember him say "Gooch, Take it in the lighter vein..." Well GOOCH, that was my nickname my dad used for me.... And oh I forgot to mention my Nigerian name... "Bosede"cos I was born on a Sunday...!!!!!

More on the memories later.....