Saturday 24 July 2010

What will 'THEY' think?????- Judgemental People!

Growing up, I came across various people in my life who were judgemental of me, and the story goes a long way back!

As a little girl, my mom used to tell me not to do this or that, but she most times never would tell me why she wanted me to or not to do some things. I can only describe my state in one word- baffled. Later on, after me pestering her a lot, she began telling me- "What will THEY think?" and I go- "WHAT will WHO think?" and then she goes- PEOPLE! My mother wanted to bring me up the way everyone would like me to be and it was my Dad who was a bit supportive.

"Don't talk that way, talk softly, don't cross your legs, Don't go on the bike with any guy, Don't talk for long on the phone, Don't leave your hair lose, plait your hair, No cycles, Don't get too close to that girl/boy,Don't wear Jeans! and what not?!!!" Though that phase is long gone, memories still remain. My Dad, the never orthodox and an atheist, always tried to reason with mom to let me do what I want.

I never understood why my mom was so bothered as to what the society, her family, her friends or for that matter, what our very neighbour thought of me or what I did. She did not want anyone to think bad of her daughter in any way. While everyone's daughters went for movies with friends even at school, I was barred from it. What did that lead to? - Me bunking college and going for movie. She used to decide what kind of clothes I get to wear too. Nevertheless, I loved them, because she somehow had good taste. Initially, mom and I used to fight about it, but then I got used to it just because she chose well. Today, I get to wear anything and whatever I want, no one to judge me by the clothes I wear, yet I somehow miss her selecting my clothes.

What will people think if I went on the bike with a friend? Do they really have the time to worry about what I'm doing, going on the bike? Really? I don't think so. Well, people will talk. So do we. Because unfortunately or fortunately we are people too. If they talk, we talk back. Its as simple as that.

I have tried to please everyone as far as I can remember. I have been good to everyone the way my mom always wanted me to and I ended up becoming a good person. But at the cost of what? Well, to tell the truth, I think it wasn't much of a price I paid. I learnt from experience. There have been people who have picked on me time and again, and I let them do it. I never spoke back to them, only because I did not want to disappoint my mother.


My mom eventually understood me, she was more supportive than anyone else. She was proud of me in everyway. She finally let me do things whatever I wanted but slowly and eventually. She just didn't want me to have all the freedom right from the start. She wanted me to earn her trust and I did. Few of them who were close to me in the family were quite judgemental of me and my acquired freedom. Well, they should know better now. And thats how I tell -People always talk.....but when it comes to things happening in their own lives, they simply don't want anyone to know, they try to keep things as quiet as possible and suddenly they stop talking about others.

There were and still are few people who think that my Dad has always let me have whatever I wanted, given me too much of freedom or that he just trusts me blindly. Well, they should take a hike or just take a look at their own sons and daughters or rather their own lives. My parents have given me the right amount of independence which permitted me to make the most of my life, have all the fun I have had, make good life long friends, learnt the lessons of life and most of all, grow up with no regrets. I could have misused the independence but I did not and yet people gossiped, and God only knows what would have happened if I did.


P.S. I don't know why I wrote this post. It was a sudden memory rush. I have not mentioned any names in this post and I just did not want to hurt anyone's feelings. Shall edit it and post the full story soon.


Wednesday 14 July 2010

Princess and love!


I woke up today morning after dreaming about myself being treated like a princess. How weird is that? I also remember telling my best friend Sindhana, a couple of days back that I want to be treated like a princess and maybe that was the only possible explanation for today's dream.

Growing up, I always believed in fairy tales. I had always wanted to look pretty, wear pretty clothes, and be treated like a princess. For sometime I was a princess, my Dad's little princess. But then I began to grow up. After when I was sensible enough I did however realise that fairy tales don't always come true but you could however feel like a princess if you find the right person.

To be a princess, you first need to be pretty! I am pretty. I believe I am pretty not because I think I'm pretty but because my parents say so. To every parent, their own child is the prettiest and so it is to my parents too and I also happen to believe anything they say. So when they tell me I'm pretty, I believe I'm pretty. Regarding pretty clothes, I've had good taste in clothes for as long as I can remember. Now coming to the part where I need to be treated like a princess.....its entirely not up to me is it? You need the prince charming!!!

Well, the simple secret to be treated like a princess is to accept the person who loves you and not go for the one whom you love. If you choose the guy who loves you, you will be the princess in his life cos you'll be the world to him. If you choose the one whom you love, you will also end up being the maid. Now, how true can this be?

We always end up choosing the one we love and not the one who loves us. This is so because, we want to be faithful to ourselves and not make the wrong choice and not to end up hurting the one who loves us. There is also the possibility that both persons love each other; they would undoubtedly be the perfect princess and prince charming and here I'd like to mention that I know few of my very close friends who have been lucky in their love life and some not so lucky.

You might know a person for years and yet really not know them inside out- This was the first advice given to me by my brother (Vinod Cheta). The first ever relationship advice I got and I still cherish it, Cos I believe it is cent percent true.

After the carefree life you have as a teenager, going to school, working on homework, being under parental care for all those years, stepping into adulthood is a great responsibility. Without the right guidance and counselling, hormones can get us into lots of trouble. But thanks to the almighty I had great sensible friends who were my family. Being a friend also means supporting you no matter what you choose in the end, being with you when everything goes wrong. I'm proud to say I have such friends who'd stand by me no matter what I choose or do in my life and I am also proud to say that I am such a friend to them too.

I've got a great friend in Arvind Kumar, who some people know as a Viscom teacher, my neighbour, the one who worries a lot and yet pretends not to care a damn, one who is non-commital to any kind of relationship except friendship. I used to think he was afraid of complications that come with any commitments in a relationship. But little did I share his wisdom then. He knew all along how things worked in this world. It was from him I learnt that it is always better to love the one who loves you than the one whom you love! He's one hell of a great guy and I should say he is wise for his age even though he still would look like he's hardly 25!

When you fall in love, it is always difficult to initially convince your best friends that you have made the right choice, but whether your choice was right or wrong they often stand by you even if you chose the rudest guy to be your boyfriend and in the end when things turn sour, the best friends still stand by and say - We told you so!!!! That is what best friends are for.

I am happy that my friends are settling down and I am trying to do so too but only time will tell.

More later,
Adios!




Tuesday 13 July 2010

Growing Up- friendships, heartbreaks and love!!!!






'With age comes wisdom'!!!

I do not agree with that statement! I 'd rather say 'With experience comes wisdom! You can be 50 years old and still not be wise, you might not be blessed with the maturity adept for a 50 year old and this same logic applies to a girl/ woman/ simply a person who is turning 27 years old on the 31st of July!

27 years of my life! I don't remember what I have achieved or done in the last 27 years that is worth mentioning as an accomplishment. Well, to begin with, I have studied a lot, a Diploma in IT, a B.Sc in Microbiology, and TWO M.SCs and after that what? Nothing! That is all that I have till date to tell the world of what I have done in the last few years. Some may feel its a lot of studies and some may feel its alright, for me, its 7 years of experience, education and friendship time!!!

It is these years in school and college that I met my soulmates, best best best friends, best friends and many many friends and that is why I love all those years of education, education of LIFE.

My LIFE began with my first steps into an actual school, in kerala, St.Josephs (still known as Kapalpalli since it is shaped like a ship and has a church inside it). This was during the pre-school/ Kindergarden- times (LKG and UKG) and thats where I made my first friend - Aleena. I still remember her name and during my last visit to India, I came to know that she was married and lived in chennai, from her Gran who lives across our ancestral home in Kerala. She's the only person I can remember from those two years of my life.

Following that, we moved to Chennai, where my LIFE actually began! Yes, I was moulded and brought to form in the wonderful school, Shri B.S.Mootha and I am proud of that school to this day. I still remember the first day I stepped into that school to take an entrance exam, where I met Shalini Ravi, who was taking the test with me. She was asked to write numbers till 60 or so and I was asked to write alphabets, and after I finished my alphabets, I simply began to write the numbers till 60. I remembered that part so vividly because I was admonished by my favourite teacher to this day, Mrs.G.Vijayalakshmi and advised to not copy again but nevertheless she was impressed that I knew my numbers. There began my tale. Shalini became my FIRST best friend and there was no looking back. We lived close by and used to play and study together and go to eachothers houses. I remember our birthday parties and gifts. I remember her family, her mom's cooking (her Bombay chutney was awesome), her dad being a doctor and her little pretty sister Vaishnavi. We grew up like that for five years or so and then suddenly she left for Coimbatore with her family, where her Dad had to have his practice. When she left she took a part of me. I still remember crying all those days and hating to go to school, or hating to make new friends. I couldn't trust anyone else for a long time for the fear that they too will one day abandon me. So there was this phase in my life when I had friends, but not best best friends, and they happened to be Majisha, Aarthe, B.Kavitha, Purnema, Kiran and so on. I remember the one and only tour I ever got to go in that school to Banglore. It was fun and memorable. Eventually Aarthe and I started spending a lot of time together, studying, playing, gossiping and I began to feel that I finally found a best friend again. It worked and somehow 10 years in that school flew by with no regrets but complete fun. Fate took a turn when both I and Aarthe left that school to join GRT. I hated that school for everything and this is just my personal experience. For others the school brought joy but it brought me tears and experiences called Life. It also however gifted me with few special friends Arunn, Sindhana, Koushik, Ashwin and Annapoorni, most of whom are till this date my best best friends!

It was here in this school, I met KK. Everyone remembers their first crush, first love and first failure too. It was in this school that I actually got to meet the other gender of the human species and hormones began to work I guess, because it was then that I had my first crush on the Golden eyed boy who happened to come to school with my best friend Sindhana. KK and I became good friends, but God I had huge crush on him but of course he didn't know that. I remember the fun times, especially when Kavita tried to get a pic of us together when we went on a tour to Banglore. I also remember how we tried to celebrate Sindy's birthday on the tour. I wouldn't say it was the best tour, but yeah it had its moments.

Disaster struck on the new year's eve 2000, when I had the small accident and hurt my back. Stayed at home for weeks in recovery and exams were fast approaching. Couldn't go to any classes or tuitions. Thanks to KK, who came to tutor me, I could learn what I did with the exception of Maths. February 14th came and with it followed our farewell party. Few days before or so, I remember, KK and I started liking eachother. We'd all remember the short story by O'Henry- After Twenty Years, and yes, KK made a plan of 'After 7 Years'. I remember the time when he took me to get henna tattoo on my hands, all the gifts that he'd given me. Our farewell party went well. All girls looked gorgeous in bright and lovely sarees and the boys tried their best to look their best. KK dropped me back home that evening. Those were moments I'd cherish. Well, first crush and first love apart, exams lurked in the corner. Blame it on my overconfidence or laziness, I eventually failed in the only 12th std exam in Maths that too, when everyone expects to pass with flying colours. The damage was already done and it was too late to blame it on the teachers, the school or me for that matter. A little extra effort could have saved me from all that trouble, shame, disappointments and my first failure.

After that first lesson of failure, I learnt never to take anything or anyone for granted. My dad and few of my close friends were very supportive. I now feel that, my first love did not work cos I blamed my first failure on the first love or rather the first ever distraction I had. I was bad. I blamed it all on the relationship and it wasn't fair to him what I did. I somehow pulled through that failure phase, got myself together, did not waste any more time and finished my Diploma and then joined SRM Arts and Science College. It was in this first year at SRM that I felt I could not maintain a long distance relationship with KK (who got his engineerin admission in Tanjore). We had the long distance calls which eventually proved to be expensive and eventually exhausting to me and it simply ended.

SRM blessed me with my best best friends Shweta and Anna , and to complete the gang there was, Sharanya, Rohini, Gayatri, Bharath and SMS. It was the most fun time I ever had in a long long time. The first year flew by quickly but it was the most fun. After a long time, I learnt to have fun again. I grew up then. I say I grew up then, not because I learnt how to have fun, but also learnt when to stop. I studied well, made sure never failed again. I worked hard, but I also bunked classes, went out with friends and had the time of my life. I remember our canteen times, how we used to occupy one big table and sat around it. I remember how Shweta fell in Love with the man of her dreams -Eshwar or rather the guy we call Dracula whom she eventually married; how Anna had her crushes and moments, how Chuckky got her proposals and how Gini and I tried to simply have fun. Then there was Valya too, the neutral person in the whole gang, because we never knew her really really well. I remember our first class bunking and the first movie we went to together as a Gang- RUN...and the Priya priya experience. Phew! We first went to Qwickys and took that first pic together and after that there was no stopping us.

I have come a long way from that little girl who always needed her daddy around, to the person I am today, living far from family and friends but of course close to the person I love (About him and the lessons he has taught me, I need a whole new Post!!!!)

From my friends and close ones, I learnt about fun, loyalty, relationships, friendship, togetherness, sharing, caring, supporting each other, covering up for each other, taking chances, love, responsibility and mainly about LIFE!!!! I'm happy my best friends are still my best friends. I learnt that people come and go in your life and it is up to us to make them stay and hence to this day, my first best friend Shalini is still a part of my life, she's still in touch with me and what more can I ask for?

So the last 27 years of my life has seen its ups and downs and I have made a list of things to do before I die because I have realised that Life is short and I need to make the most of it while I can. I know I have become a woman, because I have begun to shop like one, So here I am, hoping to eventually become wiser, someday.